Handed a paper about ice skating for "proofing" by my 7yo student. It
contained the word, "sucksex", I had to sound it out to realize it was
"success". That's what I get for telling them to sound the word out when figuring out the spelling.
A little girl gave me a hug, sweetly looked up at me and said, "Mr. Jose, it's time you shaved your head. You need to."!
One
of the rewards they get is to put something on Mr. Potato Head. Last
Friday, some kid showed us all that Mr. Potato Head looked like me. It did.
Another one, "Mr. Jose, when you come back from lunch, your breath smells. Really bad."!
I'm the worst at discipline, since the students already have me wrapped
around their stubby little fingers. Lunch room kids look at me when I
reprimand them and then resume what they were doing. I have to get the
monitors to be my henchmen/women.
They're 6th graders. "I'll take care
of them Mr. Jose."! They scare me.
One of my lunch kids looks like a mini Pres. Obama. Every time he sees
me, he puts his hands on his hips and comically scowls at me like I did
something wrong. He cracks me up.
At
2pm, when the parents are picking up their kids. The sidewalk is a
madhouse. Kids I don't know will stop me and introduce me to their
parents. The parents act surprised and a little hurt that I don't know their kid's names. I
still can't remember my own student's names and it's been six weeks!
They always have their wet, mucousy hands on me. I got sick with a cold
on Thursday and came back Friday. Way too early, I had laryngitis (as
usual) and my horrible cough as usual). The kids were way concerned.
"You sound real bad Mr. Jose. Why can't you talk? Did you eat something
bad? Do you have diarrhea? You need to go home and go to sleep. Tell
Mrs. Jose you need medicine." The heartwarming thing was that they showed real concern but also thought I was too stupid to take care of myself.
Well, it turns out I had the flu. I took Scott to the ER on Saturday
because we couldn't get his fever down. The bitch was real sick. When
the flu swab came back +, the Dr said my cough was worse than Scott's
and asked me to check in. Sure enough, I was flu+ too.
Yes, we got our flu shots on Oct 15. Why does everyone ask that? My
asshole pharmacist told me, "You should've gotten your flu shot." I
responded with a polite, "I DID, AT THIS PHARMACY AND YOU GAVE IT TO ME!
BITCH!"
I mean I could have, but I had laryngitis and ended up just breathing heavily in my mask and
sounding like Vadar with asthma and a lisp.
He's
been pissed at me since he found out Scott wasn't available. I
sometimes catch him staring at me behind the counter and mumbling. He's
prob back there sticking pins in the crotch of a Mr Potato Head.
Laters, have a Happy Kwanzaa!
